This question was a topic suggestion for today from The Daily Post.
After writing this I feel that maybe I should begin this with a word of caution that this is darker than my usual posts. So you might want to skip it if you’re not in the mood for that sort of thing. I apologize in advance for the somber mood, it’s been a rough day.
I miss so many things.
today I miss this spot.
In that photo, is the edge of the big rock at the top of the mountain. My favorite spot to go and sit.
These days the closest I can get is a crummy photograph shot with a long lens.
I miss walking there, all my life.
I miss the clippers that I kept in the back pocket of my jeans, to help fight my way through the little section of briers on the way to the top.
I miss my well-worn trail up the side of the mountain, that I could find, even in the deepest leaves.
I miss how the climb got vertical right before the top and I had to pull myself up using the trees.
I miss sitting there, in my favorite spot. My little place to get away from it all.
It always felt quiet up there. Even if you could hear something in the distance, it didn’t matter, because it was in the distance.
Every cluttered thought drifted away, and I could just be.
I miss the many loyal dogs that followed me up that path over the years and sat by my side at the top of the rock.
I miss sitting there, on a fall day like today. Feeling the sun on my skin, the warmth of the rock, my fingers running through my loyal dog’s fur.
Dogs aren’t like people. They don’t need to talk. They can just be.
With a dog you can have all the benefits of being alone to think, and none of the loneliness.
I miss walking back along the ridge line, and the little dip in the ground where the sunlight always came through, even when the thick leaves of summer cast shade on everything else. I miss that little dip, where the may-apples grew.
On days like today I wonder, is my path is still there, buried in the leaves? Or in time has it become part of the slope again. I know it is now covered with fallen trees from a previous storm. That much I can see from below. I wonder if the briers have taken over, since I haven’t been there to beat them back.
I can close my eyes and remember it all so clearly. I miss it all so much.
More than anything else about that spot,
I miss believing I’ll get back there someday.
Now it seems too silly to even hope for.
So that’s what I miss today. I miss my favorite quiet spot and I miss the hope I used to have that I’d sit there again someday.
The world tries to teach you that if you hope for something enough and work hard enough that you’ll get what you hope for. Sadly that isn’t always true.
Sometimes it’s true, sometimes it’s not.
But I can still go there in my mind.