The topic suggestion today at The Daily Post, is “Why is it so hard to forgive?”
I don’t think it is hard to forgive. I can get pretty worked up about stuff. But I find it fairly easy to forgive and move on, especially if the person apologizes. It’s harder when they don’t apologize. But I still can do forgiveness.
What I think is hard, is figuring out what to do after you forgive.
Obviously the circumstances determine what is appropriate. But sometimes it is a grey area, and hard to know what is best.
I also find that becoming a parent changed my perspective quite a bit on allowing people back into my life that have hurt me. Because then it is no longer a question of me, but of them. And protecting my children trumps everything else.
I don’t want to be mean to people. We all have flaws. I’ve went WAY out of my way to be nice to certain individuals in spite of their flaws, because they were family (either by blood or by marriage) and often times that bites me in the butt. I can forgive them, but what then?
I have cut off ties with some people entirely due to their totally outrageous behavior. It’s not a question of forgiveness, but a question of protecting my children from the influences of people who would do those sorts of things – and more importantly people who clearly do not care about my children, or have their well-being in mind.
I don’t do something like that lightly. And I still struggle with the fact that I ever had to do it at all. But life is tough, and some times life calls for tough choices.
I can forgive, and have. But that doesn’t mean that I am going to expose my children to the kind of pain that some individuals have put us through in the past.
Forgive, Yes.
Wallow in abusive relationships, No.
great post deb it has my head all twisted up in knots!!!!
Great post! Thanks for writing it. It is so hard to make these kinds of choices. I feel like I’m in the middle of this again in my life. I went thru it in my twenties, then returned to certain family in my late thirties, hoping things could change. As long as I didn’t speak or have an opinion, things were fine. Now, in my late forties, I’m discovering that I am at the very same place I was in my twenties. Forgiving is one thing but continuing to be involved with certain people who have done bad things to us, well, that is very hard. Plus, when the other people never apologize, that’s no good either.
Wishing you and your family peace and joy,
Michelle.